Kids and Ghosts, What to Do.

The subject came up recently on a parents list serve about kids seeing ghosts. It’s hard in a public forum like that, where people might not be wanting to hear about esoteric information, to comment fully. So I am going to undertake the subject here a little bit.

I began seeing spirits at the tender age of 3-4. That along with astral traveling every night was a little much for me to deal with. We lived right next to a cemetery, so you might say there was a lot going on. I would see things and in my mind, I turned them into Dr. Seuss characters to take the edge off. My parents, staunch Catholics, chalked it up to my ever expansive imagination. They were pretty exasperated at my continually waking them up in the middle of the night to soothe me. They had no understanding of what I was going through. I learned to suffer in silence, have  good night light, and resorted to imploring whatever it was to stop. And, after awhile it slowed down, but it never stopped. I did not react well to that, but I also never stopped wondering about it and investigating my ability to know things, receive love from animals and plants easily, and tune into strong weather. And of course, communicate with the dead. I also read and re-read “Lives of the Saints,” inhaling it like it was my favorite penny candy. They had it going on those saints, they knew about this stuff. Too bad they were all dead!

Now a grown woman, who has totally stepped into her gift with passion, and mom of 2 very in tune kids; I want to provide a safe atmosphere for my children to interact with spirit, and also be able to take a break from it as well. We all need to have personal space.

My daughter began seeing spirit at the age of 4. I instantly recognized she was GOOD! Better than me…kids have hardly any filters. Because I so accepted it, she just assumed it was normal and it wasn’t till she was older that I had to teach her how to deal with it in a more concrete way. Normalcy, acceptance, and lots of love for the whole process are really important at the younger ages. Now a teenager, I have been teaching her how to deal with it when the need arises. My son is sensitive to the natural world, often receiving messages about living things and rocks. He loves rocks. He’s 20, works for the Student Conservation Association, and very knowledgeable about plants and nature spirits! Neither of them are scared, both of them use their talents to thrive in the world.

Here are some tips for those who have sensitive children. I am supposing that your child might actually be seeing something.

1. Don’t be scared, be curious. Ask questions and support your child. If they need to snuggle in with you at night sometimes to get a break, let them know it’s okay. (I’m sure that’s a no-brainer, but I know many nights with a child, who you might not sure if they are having separation anxiety, or what; can be taxing).
2. Research your house. Find out who lived there and whatever you can about who died there. You can find remarkable things at the NY Historical Society, where I research land issues.
3. Ask your child to describe what they see and what is being said to them. This helps to know if it is an Ancestor, or another presence. If its Grandma, that might be a comforting thing for the whole family. If it is the guy who died there, is there something he needs? A simple offering left for a day, like a tiny bit of food from the family dinner, and some good old whiskey (in a glass), goes a long way to settling down the pesky spirits. (Make sure you throw away offerings after). They need our love too!
4. The idea is to look at this as a gift, a good thing. Because if your child has it, it’s something they have to learn to live with. If it is just a passing thing or imagination, that’s a good thing too. A creative genius blooming. Either way, support your child as best as you can.
5. You might do some reading about spirits and mediumship. Some good books are – The Light Between Us by my friend, Laura Lynne Jackson. Another friend, Kim Russo’s book just came out – The Happy Medium – Life Lessons from the Other Side. I work alongside both of these women and their stories are heart warming.
6. Do not watch The Conjuring!! Or any other horror flicks for that matter. Don’t get yourself freaked out. Negative things are very rare. Don’t get it in your head that you will be messed with or physically harmed. For a spirit to embody that kind of energy is very rare. There ARE negative spirits out there. And ones who just don’t know how to behave around us. That’s when you call in a professional. Our ancestors knew how to live in harmony with the spirit world. It is an interactive thing. It helps us on so many levels to honor that wisdom.
7. What is normal for spirits, when they want to get our attention…appearing out of the corner of your eye, dreams, full out sightings, things fall off shelves, lights going on and off when they shouldn’t, things breaking, light bulbs that constantly blow out, things moving around the house, lost keys, lost things, lights and orbs, sounds, smells, and footsteps. These things are scary yes, but really, they are not. I mean, footsteps cannot hurt us, and lights can’t either. Lost keys and stuff disappearing is annoying, but not awful. We just need to take a breath and ask, “Okay, you got my attention, what do you want? Please make it clear to me. I come in peace and I have good intentions here. Sorry I can’t really speak to you, but I offer you some things to honor your presence here.” And then offer them candy or something nice like sandalwood incense. If things quiet down then it’s just a new roommate that you have to live with. It if keeps up at the annoying level you might want a medium to talk with that spirit, to see what it wants beyond that. And that might just be enough.
8. Now if it’s in any way more menacing, that’s when you need to at least consult with a professional. Because everyone deserves to live in their space with out being terrified out of their wits. That’s just not cool.
9. If it’s really that your kid is sensitive, it’s always good to take a class in spiritual protection, so that you know what to do when your kid becomes too bombarded. Later blogs on that coming.

So, if your kid is seeing spirit, it’s going to be okay. Really. And so are you. Maybe this is happening so that you can be more in tune yourself. Or recover a long lost creative talent. We all need to be more awake to the world, it’s our kids who are teaching us! I salute you, we are caretakers to some tender younglings! The world needs them!